Thursday, October 05, 2006

No More Fishing in Malësia

Nutritionists say that fish is “brain food,” that by consuming small portions at least once a week it increases one’s memory significantly. As a result, it would be fitting that fish be a required dietary alternative for those who experience short-term memory loss. This assertion can be safely attributed to Montenegro’s outgoing Premier, Milo Djukanovic, who for the past decade has seemed to forget the promises he made to Malësia, promises that he hoped Albanians would also forget.

Let us not forget that it was our popularly-elected Milo that promised Malësia the fruits of fortune, progress, stability and proliferation in 1997; it was Milo that pledged to Malësia comprehensive forms of self-determination and self-representation in 2002; it was Milo that assured Malësia enhanced minority rights, economic development, political accommodation, civic-ness and civility in 2004; and who can forget when in 2006 Milo promised Malësia the world by granting her an autonomous Commune with all the benefits of the previous 21 before her?? Promises they were, realities they were not.

In fact Malësia should not forget any time soon, because like any good Fisherman you have to attach the right bait on a fishing line, throw it out into the waters and wait for something to bite. Milo proved to be a Master Fisherman – for the bait he chose to cast into the waters of Malësia from 1997-2007 fetched him a lot of quality fish; and with every new season Milo would select his bait carefully so he would have enough to show the international community that the fish in Malësia bite every time he throws bait their way.

But something strange happened in September 2006: The fish stopped biting. Perhaps they got sick of the same bait, or was it the same lies? The fish craved a new flavor, something that would keep their bellies full without getting them hooked and taken away from their autonomous waters; perhaps the fish decided to eat from their own territory and not swim outside their boundaries where danger always persisted, where so many of them were caught and eaten, often depleting the waters of the best and tastiest fish of them all.

This scared Milo, because no fish means no power, and no power in the Balkans means the start to a political downfall. Even with the fish he caught in the past, problems will come to light. We know what happens to fish out of water, they flip, twist and jump frantically until they are let back into their environment, and by keeping them locked up for too long, they attract a foul smell that will poison anyone that dares to taste it. Milo understands that the 15 fish he is keeping locked up in Podgorica will eventually destroy him, and the only way to prevent harm is to let them back into their waters.

Today we see “No Fishing” signs all over Malësia; not because the fish are no good, but because it is time to remind the new Fisherman that the waters of Malësia are forbidden for fishing anymore, and those that dare to cast a line into her waters will be pulled in and drowned!


Anonymous said...

EXCELLENT!! I love it!

Anonymous said...